


[NAME REDACTED]

by OhMyGlobWhatthefrickamievendoing



Series: oneshots appreciating one (1) greedy boy [3]
Category: Shall We Date?: Obey Me!
Genre: Alternate Universe - Coffee Shops & Cafés, Alternate Universe - Human, Alternate Universe - No Powers, Angst, Baristas, Cause Mammon, Fluff, Gender-Neutral Main Character (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!), Gender-Neutral Pronouns, I used fuck for all the times in the game Mammon wasnt allowed to, Other, Prompt Fic, Self-Worth Issues, but only in the beginning, just a teeny bit though, unnamed MC
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-28
Updated: 2020-07-28
Packaged: 2021-03-06 01:49:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,352
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25575340
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OhMyGlobWhatthefrickamievendoing/pseuds/OhMyGlobWhatthefrickamievendoing
Summary: Mammon's list of gender-neutral nicknames to call the ((cute)) stupid customer who keeps ordering shitty drinks
Relationships: Main Character & Mammon (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!), Main Character/Mammon (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!), Mammon (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!) & Reader, Mammon (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!)/Reader
Series: oneshots appreciating one (1) greedy boy [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1847962
Comments: 46
Kudos: 311





	[NAME REDACTED]

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ThisIsM](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThisIsM/gifts).



> Hi! Got this off an anon prompt from tumblr and I hope you guys enjoy! I'll also accept prompts for GN! mc x Mammon

He could feel a bead of sweat trickle down his neck as he stared at them.

Fuck.

Fuckfuckfuckfuck-

_Damnit._

He stared at them more, holding the freezing cup at arm's length, as he tried to will them to look at him. Maybe he had developed some kind of psychic power in the last 5 minutes?

_Turn around. Turn around. Turn around._

Nope. No powers. They still sat hunched, eyes glued to their phone as they scrolled through it. He was just as human and useless as he was 5 minutes ago.

_Fuck. **Stupid.** _

It wasn't a big deal. 

It _shouldn't_ be a big deal. 

_But Lucifer._

_But_ _Lucifer_ was a perfectionist asshole with eyes and ears in every corner. Any minor slip up on Mammon's part would be taken as yet another typical grand failure.

 _But_ _Lucifer_ had got him this job. Had pulled strings with his ~~boyfriend's~~ _boss's_ friend. Had bent over backwards to promise Barbatos that letting Mammon work at his small yet beloved coffee shop wasn't a bad decision. That Mammon wouldn't screw this up like all the other jobs he's had. Like all the other chances he'd been given. 

_But_ _Lucifer_ had said this would be his last chance. He knew it wasn't. It had been his last chance the time before. And the time before that. _And the time before that._ Lucifer would sigh and yell and sigh again but he'd clean up Mammon's messes. Pay his debts. And give him another chance.

 _But._ Mammon didn't _want_ to mess up. He wanted to keep this job. Wanted to pay off his own debt for once. Wanted to make his big brother proud.

What he didn't want was to piss off Barbatos by destroying his self proclaimed Perfect Customer Service™ on his second day.

Fuck.

This was all _their_ fault. What special kind of _dumbass_ ordered this ice blended caramel, chocolate caffeine monstrosity in the dead of winter anyway.

He took a breath. The chill of the drink was starting to numb his fingers and condensation was forming on the sides of the cup. Fuck. Okay he needed to get this over with. He opened his mouth,

"HEY, DUMBASS!"

**FUCK.**

The person stopped. Their frozen finger hovering over their screen before slowly, with robotic motions, they looked up to stare him dead in the eye. Again with stilted movement they looked around the empty shop before turning back to him.

Fuck. Fuckfuckfuckfuck- 

Mammon's fingers trembled around the still awkwardly outstretched cup. His face flushed and he bit his cheek to stop his eyes from tearing up out of pure frustration. Why didn't he ever think before he spoke. _Why was he so stu-_

"Thank you."

Mammon blinked. 

They gently took the cup from his grip, face breaking out in a bright smile that crinkled their nose. "I've heard a lot of mispronounced names but Dumbass has gotta be a whole new one."

Mammon floundered. "I - uh -"

"Is it the beanie?" They cut him off, pointing at what was probably the ugliest, most misshapen, thing he had ever seen, sitting atop their head. "I made it myself," they said, beaming proudly.

"Was the drink. 'S cold," he answered in a bit of a stupor.

"Ah," they said, nodding wisely. 

They stared at each other for an hour long 5 seconds, Mammon resisting the urge to bounce on his heels, to _say_ something while their grin transformed into something smaller, softer. 

"Well," they jiggled their cup making the icy liquid slosh against the cap, "I'll be going then. See you."

"See ya."

And they were gone.

His face burned.

* * *

He could feel a bead of sweat trickle down his neck as he stared at them.

Fuck.

Fuckfuckfuckfuck-

_Damnit._

It wasn't his fault. _It wasn't._ There had been a rush and he'd let his body work on autopilot as his mind had drifted to more interesting things. Specifically, payday. It made sense that he'd miss a name or two.

He glared at their turned back. Trying to drag their name out from whatever corner of his mind it had vanished to, he eyed the unintelligible squiggles he'd written on the side of the cup. He took a breath. Opened his mouth,

"OI RED!"

Christ what was wrong with him.

Their head snapped his way and oh. His gaze drifted down to the monstrosity in his hand. 

_Oh._

His ears were already red when he looked at the same bright smile he had seen just a week prior. 

"I THOUGHT I WAS DUMBASS?" They yelled back from their seat across the cafe, seemingly taking no note of the audience they had gained.

With a snort and his own lopsided grin he waved them over. 

"Ya hoodie was so bright it overwhelmed the stupidity of ya drink."

They tugged at the offensively red hoodie in question. "That's fair."

"Ya made that too?"

"I'm honoured you have such faith in my craft."

He didn't know eyes could twinkle in real life. Wasn't that just something for Satan's books or Levi's anime. 

"It wasn't a compliment," he replied, a bit numbly as they smiled once more and turned around with a "See you."

* * *

He stared at them and they stared back evenly. Shit. _How'd he miss their name a third time!?_

Taking a breath, 

"YO HUMAN!"

Even from across the room he could hear the unflattering snort. It made something in his stomach flutter.

"Is this cause you're a demon?" They ask as they near the counter.

"What."

"Your name," they say "Mammon. Isn't that demonic? Something about money?"

"How'd ya know my name!" He doesn't mean to snap but all he hears is _Loan Shark. Loan Shark. Loan Shark. Loan Sha-_

"Your nametag, dumbass." They say, tapping at their own chest.

Oh.

"Oh. Ya not a loan shark."

"Nope."

"Ah. Ugh...our father."

"What?" Their head tilts slightly.

Shit. Why was that cute.

"Guy was really religious. Decided to celebrate that by naming all his kids after demons. Ya should meet Lucifer, bastard really lives up to his name. Actually. Wait. Don't. Ya shouldn't meet him. You'd probably fall in love with him."

"Big guy? Grumpy face?"

"...ya know him?"

They shook their head. "I know Barbatos and Diavolo. Only met Lucifer a couple of times," they hum to themselves "didn't really fall in love with him."

"Good."

"Good?"

"I- um- ah that is!" Shit shit his face was heating up "he's such an asshole! And ya deserve a dumbass! Cause of ya...dumbassery..." He needed to throw himself in front of a speeding vehicle.

They smiled, nodding like he had said something profound instead of whatever word vomit he had just spewed, "You're right. I do deserve a dumbass. Thank you, Mammon."

They smile sweetly before heading out and Mammon is left feeling like he missed something monumental. 

* * *

"Hey, Dummy! Gotcha caffeinated cavity in a cup right here."

"You're the best Mammon!"

"I...am? Ah! Course I am! I'm The Great Mammon after all! What'd ya do without me!"

* * *

  
  
"Here you go, you gremlin. Enjoy."

Their smile is bright as ever. His heart threatens to burst.

* * *

"Hey tiny! Ya hear?"

"Mammon you're barely any taller than me!"

"Yeah yeah keep living in ya fantasy world! Now did ya hear? 'Bout the vacation."

"Diavolo mentioned it. It'll be fun to meet the rest of your brothers."

"Pfffttt yeah right! Listen ya knew me first so ya gotta spend time with me. I still needta figure out ya name. I can't have those jerks beatin' me to it!"

"Ah, sure Mammon. Anything to please my favourite barista."

* * *

"Ya still on for movie night?"

"Horror?"

"NO!"

"Why not? You're cute when you cling on to me and cry."

"Dick."

* * *

"Can't ya ever order anythin' else, brat?"

"Nope."

* * *

"Darlin',"

"Love,"

* * *

He wrapped his arms around their waist and hooked his chin over their shoulder. He could hear his brothers moving about around the house. The smell of frying bacon probably waking them. 

"Babe." He said.

"Dumbass." They replied.

* * *

"Mine." He growled.

" _ **Mine.**_ " They whispered.

* * *

"And _this_ ," he'd say to anyone who'd listen, "is my partner in crime."  


**Author's Note:**

> Is that a real drink that I am addicted to? Yes.
> 
> Writing this did I realise I project more on to Mammon than on to MC, so now I'm having an existential crisis because that means the reason I want MC to romance Mammon so badly is because I actually relate to him? Maybe.
> 
> Guys I would love to hear comments from you cause I live for that shit! 
> 
> And anon I hope this met your expectations and I hope you have a great day!


End file.
